IT IS VERY GOOD AND FRIGHTENING to be here on BOING BOING. As readers of my own, small, imitation of a blog already know, I am a longtime reader, and now, very humbly…
A FIRST TIME CALLER.
I AM ESPECIALLY GRATEFUL to be here, for indeed it was a BOING BOING post which first convinced me to descend from the airy heights of minor television renown and return to my ink-stained former life of writing big books of fake trivia.
FOR IT WAS CORY, via Ape-Lad, who first brought to my attention the COMPLETELY IMPLAUSIBLE, BUT DISTRESSINGLY REAL product known as DICK VAN PATTEN'S HOBO CHILI FOR DOGS.
TRUTH MAY BE STRANGER THAN FICTION, I wrote in my first book, but never as strange as lies. But now it seemed, truth was catching up.
AND SO it was Van Patten's sublimely unexpected, non-fictional food for hobo dogs (hobo dogs!) that convinced me the time had come for me to return and restock the pond of fact with falsehood, and produce MORE INFORMATION THAN YOU REQUIRE.
(AND DUE TO THE INCREDIBLE GRACIOUSNESS of Mr. Van Patten and his business partners, I am able to reproduce in my book not only the label for HOBO CHILI FOR DOGS, but also the label for CHINESE TAKE-OUT FOR DOGS. It is obvious that they take great care in making their pet food, so please reward their good humor and esprit de creative commons by visiting their website.)
AS I BLOG here from day to day, I will not always be as baldfaced as I am today about mentioning my book. But I will be touring around the country reading from it, often accompanied by JONATHAN COULTON, so I cannot promise that it will never come up.
BUT BEFORE I PART, I did want to share with you one image of me, accompanied by my book, and a bottle of Dan Aykroyd's Crystal Head Vodka.
FOR INDEED, here is another product that DOES IN FACT EXIST, though there is no rational explanation for it.
IT IS STRANGENESS INCARNATE, and like my book, it is filtered through diamonds.
THAT IS ALL.
PHOTO courtesy: Seth Olenick
(John Hodgman is guest blogger.)
