The Osama bin Laden I Screwed

Excerpt from a Harpers excerpt of the previously-BoingBoinged tell-all by Kola Boof, who claims to have once been the lover of Osama bin Laden:

He would humiliate me by making me dance naked. It was such a strange thing, because for the most part he believed music was evil. If a guest at the estate played music, he would cover his ears until the “poison” was silenced. But other times he would become this devout party boy who wanted to hear Van Halen or some B-52's. To this day I hear the song “Rock Lobster” in my sleep. I would be jerking around like a white girl–“Dance like a Caucasoid girl!” he would say–and his eyes would track me from one side of the terrace to the other. “Your ass is too big, show me the front,” he said. Osama, you understand, did not know the difference between being vicious and being tender. (…)

“Why do you wear your hair braided?” he asked.

“Because my braids are beautiful,” I replied.

Osama said only monkeys braid their hair. He told me that the singer Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen and that she never wore her hair braided. “I want you to fix your hair like hers from now on,” he said. “I can't put my fingers through it when it's braided.”

Link to "His Prerogative." (Thanks, W. Vann Hall)

From the 2002 BB vaults:
Kola Boof: 'Net persona, writer, Bin Laden's ex-girlfriend–or hoax?