Joseph "Donald" Scordata, 81, was arrested in September in Ridgewood, New Jersey for masturbating in his parked car. His defense? "That's not possible," he apparently said at a recent hearing. "I don't have a penis." At his last hearing, he asked the judge if he could represent himself instead of finding an attorney. The judge replied, "Then you will have a fool for a client." From NorthJersey.com:
When confronted by detectives, Scordato denied that he was masturbating in plain view, according to a Sept. 16 police report.
"I have dry skin, and I have to itch it a lot," he was quoted as saying in the report…
Matthew Winthrop, a caretaker who wheeled Scordato into court, said Scordato was innocent."He is a very good man," Winthrop said.
Asked how he felt about the charges, Scordato uttered an obscenity and said, "Let's get out of here."