Nathaniel Daw has mashed up Plato's Republic with Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs (specifically the tied-to-a-chair-being-tortured scene). The outcome is so funny I got the hiccoughs:
[Thrasymachus is tied up in a chair. Socrates is brandishing a gun in his face]
Thrasymachus: Don't kill me, man!
Socrates: Are you finished, fucker?
Thrasymachus: Look, look, man, you can have my ten yoke of oxen. My virgin daughters? My pomegranite orchard?
Socrates: You like pomegranites? Shit, motherfucker, I hear they've got a fuckin' all-you-can-eat special going on on pomegranites where you're headed.
Thrasymachus: Don't do it, Socrates. Be fair.
Socrates: [Suddenly contemplative] Fair?
Thrasymachus: [Sees an opportunity for survival] Yeah, fair… think about my wife and children —
Socrates: Would you say that to be fair is the same thing as to be just?
Thrasymachus: What?
Socrates: Well, I'm just a dull, wandering street philosopher, so I don't understand quite where you're headed with this particular line of reasoning. Perhaps [motions with gun] you could further elucidate your theory of justice.
(via Making Light)
Update: Adam sez, "I went to school with Nat Daw, and he's certainly one of the wittiest
folks I know, although gladly much of his writing time has been lost
to the ravenous bitch goddess of scientific inquiry. Perhaps he'll get
an ignobel someday. This got me thinking, so I dug around, found, and scanned the original
poster I made for the theatrical presentation of Republic Dogs."
