Man Who Owned the Bible: wonderful absurdist copyright parody

Cory Doctorow 4:25 pm Mon Jan 10, 2005

Talented sf and fantasy writer Will Shetterly (whose one-of-a-kind Dogland is the one of the finest novels I've ever read) has written a short-short story called "The People Who Owned the Bible" and blogged it under a Creative Commons license. It's a corker.

Then Jimmy Joe Jenkins's DNA proved he was the primary descendent of the translators of the King James Version of the Bible. At first, Jimmy was satisfied with ten percent of the price of every KJV sold and 10 percent of every collection plate passed by any church that used the KJV. But when some churches switched to newer translations, Jimmy sicced his lawyers on all translations based on the KJV. That got him a cut of every Bible and every Christian service in English. Some translators claimed their work was based on older versions and should therefore be exempt, but none of them could afford to fight Jimmy in court.

So the churches grumbled and paid Jimmy his tithe, except for the Mormons, Christian Scientists, Seventh Day Adventists, Quakers, and Unitarian Universalists. Jimmy said their teachings hurt the commercial value of his property and refused to let them use the Bible. All of those groups dissolved, except for the Unitarian Universalists, who didn't notice a change.

(Thanks, Will!)

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