Why don't more American homes have a bidet? Sure, it may seem odd at first, but travel around the rest of the world, from Europe to Asia and beyond, and those happy little spritzers are standard issue in practically every home. Considering what a clean-freak, germ-phobic society America has become, it's truly puzzling that this ultra-sanitary process hasn't broken through in the States. And don't even get us started on the green impact of phasing out all that toilet paper.
Well, it's time for you to be the change. No, seriously. It's time to step up, be counted and push the United States into the pristinely clean, uber-washed land it was always meant to be. And that crusade starts right on your very own home throne.
Check out this batch of bidet options, which should include at least one that fits your situation. C'mon…you know you want to.
SlimGlow: The World's First Bidet Attachment Featuring a Night Light – $49.99; Originally $79
If you just want to check out what the bidet life could be like, this starter option could give you a hint of the pleasures. The SlimGlow gets the job done with a comfort grip pressure control knob and dual nozzle cleansing action. It even features an incline that matches your natural body position and a soft blue light so you'll always be able to find your way in the middle of the night.
Alpha One V2 Bidet Seat – $72.99; Originally $199
The Alpha One V2 attaches easily to your current bowl and features a pair of retractable, self-cleaning dual nozzles. The front and rear spray offers up some natural cleansing that's all under your control. Whether you want a soft, soothing spray or a more vigorous cleanse, the brass pressure valve gives you ultimate control of your bidet experience.
Alpha GX Wave Bidet Seat – $199.99; Originally $399
With three different wash settings, it's not hard to see why this baby has a hearty 4.7 out of 5 star rating on Amazon. With its hybrid heating system, the rear, rear-plus and front feminine wash modes will supply plenty of warm water for all your me-time. Plus, the GX Wave comes with staunch air dryers that will cut your drying time in half.
Alpha IX Hybrid Bidet Seat with Remote – $219.99; Originally $499
The Alpha IX is a significant step-up from other models — and we don't mean because it has four wash settings instead of three. And it's not because of the stainless steel nozzle, aerated, oscillating spray patterns or the ceramic core water heater that guarantees warm water at all times. No, we mean because the Alpha IX comes with its own wireless remote control. And you know you've truly made it when your toilet has its own remote.
Brondell Swash 1400 Luxury Bidet Toilet Seat – $649
Finally, we've come to the Cadillac of bidets, the Brondell Swash 1400 Luxury Bidet seat. While it would be tempting to assume luxury just because it's in the name, the list of features is all the real proof that you need. In addition to multiple wash settings with oscillating nozzles and the warm air dryer, the Swash 1400 can also be programmed with user settings. Yep, this toilet remembers how you like it — and with the touch of a button, it delivers every time. Add in the deodorizer, auto modes and more and you'll never suffer through a self-than-stellar bathroom experience again. At least, not in your home.
