The Onion's new profanity-laced cooking videos send up the genre perfectly

Since Gordon Ramsay got 25 million views showing how to scramble eggs, there's been a sharp uptick in inane cooking videos. Enter The Onion with the perfect response.

Bonus videos: How to sharpen your knife with your sword:

Perfect One-Pot, Six-Pan, 10-Wok, 25-Baking Sheet Dinner:

Can You Hapless Fuckwits At Least Handle An Omelette? (YouTube / The Onion)