Sick of cold lube from a tube? Consider a hot lube autodispenser!

Andrea James 6:56 am Wed Dec 28, 2016

If your next hookup app "date" has this strange white contraption on the nightstand, it's not a high-tech reading lamp. It's Pulse, a personal lubricant warmer and touchless dispenser. It's also a good sign that they use a whole lotta lube for who knows what.

pulse-lube-dispenser

This thing is itching for a good infomercial with lots of dry humor:

Simply slide a Pulse Pod into the ready-and-waiting chamber, and touch the Pulse Control Button. Locked into place, Pulse begins to warm the luxurious lubricant—available in two customized formulations—to a deliciously comfortable temperature for your body; the pulsing white light lets you know it’s happening. In just minutes, the light is steady and Pulse is ready.

Only $250! K-cup style Pulse Pod lube refills just $25! I wonder if Vivaldi ever imagined his work would some day accompany an ad for dessicated horndogs?

• How Pulse Works (YouTube)

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