Man regrets having crude drawing of a penis tattooed on thigh Rob Beschizza 7:23 am Mon, Aug 31, 2015 *UNDER EMBARGO - NO WEB USE BEFORE 15:00 15/08 PLEASE* Pictured - Stuart Valentino, who has a tattoo of a penis on his leg. See South West copy SWPENIS. A man has been kicked out by his wife after tattooing a comedy penis - on his OWN LEG. Hapless Stuart Valentino inked the six-and-a-half inch member on his left thigh, so the end pokes out of his boxer shorts. The home-made love-length has caused no end of trouble for the 34-year-old, and caused his wife Samantha to kick him out of their family home in Southsea, Hants. The lorry driver, and father-of-four, said: "My wife hates it. In retrospect, I'm not surprised, it really is the stupidest thing I've ever done. Stuart Valentino, 34, of Southsea, England, was kicked out by his wife as a result. “In retrospect, I'm not surprised, it really is the stupidest thing I've ever done.”