David, a 43-year-old Californian, told Kristen V. Brown of Fusion why he has been a happy Ashley Madison member for nearly a decade. He signed up, he says, because his wife wasn’t interested in having sex with him.
The dark side of sites like Ashley Madison is the fun that actually happens. There are books that could be written about the untold stories that most cheaters can’t share with anybody. There are women on there who are happy in their marriages, but looking for stuff they can’t get at home. I met a woman who said she’d never given a man a blowjob. It was her fantasy. She said her husband would call her a freak. I made her fantasy come true.
I hate to say that I’m good at it, but I am. I’ve had sex with about 60 women I met on the site — I made a spreadsheet of them once. There’s been various types of affairs. I had one that was just very hollow — good but meaningless sex that leaves you feeling used. You get the ones where you’re committed to somebody, where you become boyfriend and girlfriend, and you’re always trying to figure out how to meet for lunch. When it’s more than just physical, it lasts longer but at some point it gets old. Some of the affairs have been more like friends with benefits, no strings attached. Sometimes I don’t even know their real name.
One time a wife asked if her husband could watch. A lot of women want to be restrained. One woman’s fantasy was to have sex while she was blindfolded in a hotel and for me to leave without her ever even seeing me. I never thought I would go down that path. Some of the stuff isn’t even believable.