His hilarious, bathetic op-ed in Glamour is full of sneaky, countersunk gender ha-ha-only-serious humor: "Women havesmart, resourceful role models — Marissa Mayer, Michelle Obama, Sacajawea, and the green M&M."
I love all the things women love: exfoliating microbeads, period costume dramas, Joe Manganiello's second row of abs, pay commensurate with my skill set, York peppermint patties, Legolas, the respect of my colleagues, and being warm.
And physically women can relate to me. I have womanly hips—soft and grabbable, and they really fill out my low-rise Levi's. I've got muffin top for days. Sure, the other hosts bring the eye candy. Jimmy Fallon has a boyish charm, and for the ladies who are into ladies, if you squint, Jimmy Kimmel kind of looks like a rugged Mila Kunis. But female viewers need more than a pretty face. They need someone who will represent their voice. And I think this essay has proved that I have an authentic female perspective, because most of it was written by two female writers on my staff.
Point is, I'm here for you, and that means I'm going to do my best to create a Late Show that not only appeals to women but also celebrates their voices. These days TV would have you believe that being a woman means sensually eating yogurt, looking for ways to feel confident on heavy days, and hunting for houses. But I'm going to make a show that truly respects women, because I know that there's more than one way to be one. Maybe you're a woman who likes women. Maybe you like women and men. Maybe you're a woman who's recently transitioned. Maybe you're a guy who's reading this magazine because your girlfriend bought a copy and it looked interesting.
Whoever you are, I promise: I'm going to lean in on this. It really accentuates my muffin top.
Stephen Colbert Shares Why He Thinks Women Should Be in Charge of Everything [Stephen Colbert/Glamour]
