- SOMEHOW ENDING UP ON ANSWERS.COM
- ATHEISTS WHO LOVE TO ARGUE. (“Here’s a fun one: tell them there’s a gap in the fossil record and then immediately mute them.”)
- RESTAURANT WEBSITES
- SOMEONE IM’ING YOU ON FACEBOOK (“Facebook is largely an awful place, made more awful by the perpetual threat (before you disable instant messages) of your high school friend making your laptop ding and asking you to come see his prog-rock band with two drummers, no singer, and a rapper in a VOTE FOR PEDRO shirt.”)
- LOCAL TV STATION WEBSITES (“Some will ask you to take three surveys and watch a commercial from your local dentist and then dump you in an article full of Loren Ipsum.”)
- ITUNES (“iTunes is like having your hand held by a robot who wants to walk into the ocean and die.”)
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