NFL launches softball probe into its handling of Ray Rice case

A law enforcement official says he sent the infamous elevator video of football player Ray Rice delivering a knockout punch to his fiancee’s face back in April. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has previously insisted that no one in the NFL was aware of the video until TMZ posted it on Monday.

Two get to the bottom of things commissioner Goodell has hired two of his most ardent yes-men cronies to conduct an “independent” investigation into its handling of the Rice case.

The probe will be overseen by owners John Mara of the New York Giants and Art Rooney of the Pittsburgh Steelers, two of Goodell’s strongest supporters. Both are members of key NFL committees and have closely advised Goodell throughout his tenure.

Former FBI director Robert S. Mueller III will lead the probe.

The law firm where Mueller is now a partner, WilmerHale, has connections to the NFL. The firm has represented Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder, and several former members of the firm have taken positions with NFL teams.

The forthcoming probe will surely uncover an appropriately disposal “rogue actor” amongst the NFL’s low-level staff to blame.