Matt Simon on the sex lives of anglerfish: “If the deep-sea anglerfish happened to have the cognitive and physical capabilities required to produce its own [teen movies], there’d be decidedly fewer plot twists. Every single movie would go a little something like this: Boy meets girl, boy bites girl, boy’s mouth fuses to girl’s body, boy lives the rest of his life attached to girl sharing her blood and supplying her with sperm. Ah, a tale as old as time.”