As found in Curiosities of Puritan nomenclature (1888), a collection of Puritan names chosen “to remind the child about sin and pain.” My favorite? “Kill-sin Pimple.”
20 Puritan Names That Are Utterly Strange
1. Dancell-Dallphebo-Mark-Anthony-Gallery-Cesar. Son of Dancell-Dallphebo-Mark-Anthony-Gallery-Cesar, born 1676.
2. Praise-God. Full name, Praise-God Barebone. The Barebones were a rich source of crazy names. This one was a leather-worker, member of a particularly odd Puritan group and an MP. He gave his name to the Barebones Parliament, which ruled Britain in 1653.
3. If-Christ-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned. Praise-God’s son, he made a name for himself as an economist. But, for some inexplicable reason, he decided to go by the name Nicolas Barbon.
4. Fear-God. Also a Barebone.
5. Job-raked-out-of-the-ashes
6. Has-descendents
7. Wrestling
8. Fight-the-good-fight-of-faith
9, Fly-fornication
10. Jesus-Christ-came-into-the-world- to-save. Brother of “Damned Barebone”. I can only imagine this name shortened to “Save.”
11. Thanks
12. What-God-will
13. Joy-in-sorrow. A name attached to many stories of difficult births.
14. Remember
15. Fear-not. His/her surname was “Helly”, born 1589.
16. Experience
17. Anger
18. Abuse-not
19. Die-Well. A brother of Farewell Sykes, who died in 1865. We can assume they had rather pessimistic parents.
20. Continent. Continent Walker was born in 1594 in Sussex.
A Boy Named Humiliation: Some Wacky, Cruel, and Bizarre Puritan Names [Joseph Norwood/Slate]
(Image: Gallery of famous Puritans, Wikimedia Commons/Book Academy, Public Domain)
