Burning nostrils, olives in noses, and Dear Abby

I posted Sunday’s curious Dear Abby column about a woman so disturbed by her husband’s ice chewing that she eats breakfast in another room while wearing noise-canceling headphones. This reminded my friend Vann Hall of a strange letter that Abigail Van Buren cited as one of her favorites. Unfortunately I can’t find Abby’s answer online so please feel free to share your advice in the comments.

My husband burns the hair out of his nose with a lighted match — and he thinks I’m crazy because I voted for Goldwater!”

And here’s another nose-related annoyance from Abby’s archives:

My husband has a problem. When we go out to a nice restaurant for dinner, he always orders a martini with 10 or 12 olives in it. Then he sticks the olives in his nose and sucks out the juice. He claims it clears up his sinuses. Abby, this is so embarrassing. What can I do?

“Dear Abby: Are All Those Weird Letters for Real?” (Palm Beach Daily News, 11/16/74)