Ask women about their relationship, writes Jody Schoger, and “you’re apt to hear variations on this theme, ‘He never blinked,’ or ‘He really showed me how strong a man he truly is.’ In other words, you’re not apt to hear what it’s truly like for some women.” On her blog, she publishes a first-person account from an anonymous contributor that rings true for many. The tl;dr: the impact of cancer is really, really hard for both partners in a relationship—before, during, and after treatment.