This is the ugly Christmas sweater that defeated all the rest

While you still won’t be able to buy that Slayer Christmas sweater you’ve been wanting ever since you knew it existed, there is another equally hardcore option if you’re still in need of something ugly and holiday-themed: the Home Alone sweater. Complete with prancing reindeer on the wearer’s biceps and a healthy portion of snowflakes, no one will dare mess with a person wearing an ugly Christmas sweater that says, “Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal” on it. Especially if that person has been drinking all of the buttered rum. So, if you find yourself wearing this masterpiece of a garment at a gathering and someone tells you, “You know, that quote isn’t technically from Home Alone — it’s from Angels With Filthy Souls,” feel free to go Black Bart on them and treat them to a holiday mashup.

I’m kidding. Please do not start a fight in this sweater. Wear it in good health, and in the name of peace on Earth, good will towards men. It’s available on the appropriately-named site, UglyChristmasSweater.com for $49.99. God bless us, everyone! (via I Heart Chaos)