Gettin' Higgy With it: A Roundup of Higgs Boson Jokes on Twitter

On the day we reserve to tell ourselves America is great – July 4 – Europe reminds us that we suck at science. #HiggsBoson

— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) July 4, 2012

Big science news today: Scientists at Europe's CERN research center have discovered a new subatomic particle believed to be a basic building block of the universe, which appears to be the "boson" imagined and named half a century ago by theoretical physicist Peter Higgs. And Stephen Hawking loses a $100 bet. Many of us on Twitter know that we should be excited by all of this, but have no idea what it really means, having dope-smoked our way through Physics class in high school. This animation helps. Still: If you can't join 'em, LOL at 'em. Here are some of the better #higgsjokes I faved on Twitter after the news broke. Did I miss any good ones? Let me know in the comments. And read Maggie's post.

Whoa whoa whoa! We’re cross-breeding hogs and bison now? Thanks a lot Obamacare!

— ed casey (@edcasey) July 4, 2012

Update from CERN:It turns out the thing they found in the Large Haldron Collider was just a GIF.

— Dave Pell (@davepell) July 4, 2012

The #Higgs #Boson walks into a catholic church. Priest says "What are you doing here?" HB says "You can't have mass without me" #higgsjokes

— Kallee (@Kallee) July 4, 2012

"Are You There God Particle? It's Me, Average Person That Doesn't Understand You"

— Steve Murray (@NPsteve) July 4, 2012

Where is your god now, particles?

— Daniel Werneck (@empire_of_dust) July 4, 2012

Overheard on the newsdesk: "I don't care what the Higgs boson headline is, just make sure we spell Hadron correctly."

— Guardian style guide (@guardianstyle) July 4, 2012

I've got 99.9999% problems, but a Higgs ain't one.

— Phil Plait (@BadAstronomer) July 4, 2012

I hope Higgs-Boson isn't an Old Testament God particle.

— John Moe (@johnmoe) July 4, 2012

Higgs Boson Explainer: It's like, a particle, man.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) July 4, 2012

Turned down opportunity to go on 1-hour radio programme to discuss the religious significance of the Higgs particle since there isn't any.

— Marcus Chown (@marcuschown) July 4, 2012

The Higgs discovery makes me feel heavier already. What we need instead is the anti-Higgs. A particle that takes mass away.

— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) July 4, 2012

Yup. HIggs boson. Right where I left it.

— Adam Rogers (@jetjocko) July 2, 2012

If I discovered the Higgs boson, I'd also do my presentation in ComicSans just to watch the outrage on Twitter ;-)

— Bora Zivkovic (@BoraZ) July 4, 2012

Ricky Gervais collapses after yelling at 2 strangers discussing the God particle.

— Andy Kindler (@AndyKindler) July 4, 2012

There's an easy-to-understand video online that explains Higgs boson & creation of the universe, but it's like four minutes long.Pass.

— Mike Scully (@scullymike) July 4, 2012

Why didn't they let Danny Glover announce the "Higgs" part of the whole Higgs boson thing? #toooldforthissigma

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) July 4, 2012

Can't believe they've already lost the Higgs Boson.

— Peter Serafinowicz (@serafinowicz) July 4, 2012

The Higgs boston is the theoretical particle that accounts for heaviness of accents.

— John Rennie (@tvjrennie) July 4, 2012

A Higgs boson walks into a bar. The barman doesn't understand.

— Ed Yong(@edyong209) July 4, 2012

An FTL neutrino walks into a bar. … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … A confused Higgs Boson walks into a bar.

— Martin Robbins (@mjrobbins) July 4, 2012

A neutrino goes into a bar. "What would you.." says the barman, but the neutrino is already thousands of miles away.

— Martin Robbins (@mjrobbins) July 4, 2012

A Higgs Boson walks into a bar. "Want a drink?" asks the barman. The Higgs Boson doesn't reply. Because it's a Higgs Boson. Not a person.

— Martin Robbins (@mjrobbins) July 4, 2012

Discovery of Higgs boson a blow to Bravo's upcoming reality show America's Next Top Standard Model.

— Adam Rogers (@jetjocko) July 4, 2012

Hey I wrote this awesome post and… No, no its not about the Higgs but you… Wait, where are you going? Hey, come back.

— Ed Yong(@edyong209) July 4, 2012