As a near-total teetotaller, I’m in no position to weigh in on the quality of Kraken Spiced Rum (haven’t tried it, it might taste like paint-thinner and strip the enamel off your teeth), but I am here to tell you that I am in major raptures over the absolutely ass-kicking media kit package they’ve put it in. Growing up, my grandparents on both sides had elaborate rec-room bars with racy cocktail glasses (the bikini girls would strip off if you filled the highballs with cold liquid) and superb novelty bottles: Bols liqueur bottles with windup ballerinas inside, Jim Beam bottles shaped like every US state, bottles shaped like the CN Tower, very tall banana liqueur bottles (just look at them!), little brown jugs with XX on them, and more. I’ve always had an affinity for this kind of thing, even if I have very little use for the stuff inside the bottles.