Deleted. Y’all are right. There are way too many errors in there and I didn’t pay nearly enough attention to ferreting them out before I decided to post. My bad.
As penance, I offer you this image of a Scutigera coleoptrata being eaten by a Venus fly trap. It’s no unicorn, but it does a good job of summing up my failure nicely.
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO BLOGGERS WHO ARE WRONG ON THE INTERNET
Image comes from Plant Systematics Resources site of San Diego State University.