(Bill Gurstelle is guest blogging here on Boing Boing. He is the
author of several books including the potato cannon-relevant Backyard
Ballistics, and the recently-published Absinthe
and Flamethrowers)
Everybody’s talking about the honorable Marilyn Milian, the hottest judge on television!
–Opening tagline for the television show “The People’s Court”
I’ve been watching a lot of TV judge shows lately, mainly because I don’t have cable, they’re on when I’m working on Make Magazine projects in my workshop, they’re good background noise, and hey, they’re marginally better than Maury Povich or Deal or No Deal.
I’m no connoisseur of small claims court television, but I do have opinions. I kind of like Judge Joe Brown, because he frequently does weird things with his voice. He’ll be lecturing someone for trashing their roommates CD collection when mid-sentence, he switches to a deep, over-the-top, musical baritone for no reason at all. Sort of like Steve Bochco’s Cop Rock show.
Judge “Christina’s Court” Perez’s tag line is that she “takes law into her own heart.” I have absolutely no earthly idea what that means.
Anyway, if what daytime TV viewers are seeking is hot, sexy justice, then it’s time for a new concept altogether. Maybe a show where the judge wears a tight fitting black leather robe and carries a riding crop? At the end, the loser has to strip down to their underwear and the winner gets to yell stuff at them. Now that’s hot. Copyright 2009. Feel free to call my hot, sexy agent with offers.