(Bill Gurstelle is guest blogging here on Boing Boing. He is the
author of books including Backyard
Ballistics, and the recently-published Absinthe
and Flamethrowers)
Hydroxatone is so effective, it was given away in gift bags at international film festivals!
– advertisement for Hydroxatone, a very expensive wrinkle cream flogged constantly on late night cable television and talk radio stations.
Allo! I am Marcel, zee scienteest in charge of gift bag quality control at ze large internationale film festivals. Every day, I am faced with ze daunting task of carefully evaluating the products of the thousands of companies eager to put free samples in the gift bags of Hollywood stars.
But only the best products, like Magic Jack or Almighty Cleanse make it through our rigorous, film-festival gift-bag quality control.
As hard as I try to safeguard ze integrity of our gift bags, sometimes the unfortunate occurs. One time, during a screening of Rochelle, Rochelle at Cannes, and against my better judgment, I allowed Kevin Trudeau to place inferior quality promotional ball point pens in ze gift bag. One of them leaked ink on Halle Barry's cashmere sweater. If Angelina Jolle had not taken the Shamwow from her gift bag and blotted up ink, mon Dieu, I would left be sweeping streets in Marseilles.
