Toronto's Serial Diners are mad eaters — every week, they visit another restaurant, working their way through the Toronto phone book, in alphabetical order, for decades.
I. Let the record show that the Serial Diners are not only permitted by their essentially arbitrary charter of rules, but are indeed encouraged, to avoid dining at any restaurant, appear though it may in the Toronto Yellow Pages (West or East Edition), and be listed though it may in the Serial Diners' official agenda, if that restaurant should be known or strongly suspected (whether as a result of public allegations or inside knowledge), to be conducting their business in a manner that is unethical, as defined below.
II. Unethical behaviour is defined as any action (especially if ongoing) that is directly and unconscionably detrimental to specific human beings in an extreme and significant way.
III. A partial, and by no means exhaustive, list of actions that would constitute unethical behaviour by the terms of section II might include the following: killing people; publishing hate literature; serving human flesh on the menu; funding a genocide; forcing customers to eat their meal even when they're full because the sign doesn't say 'All you want to eat', it says 'All you can eat'; fomenting wars for the purposes of arms profiteering; inflicting irreparable psychological damage on children by shining bright lights in their faces and repeatedly screaming 'You exist only to serve me!'; wishing people into the cornfield just because they didn't tell you it was a good thing that you made it snow; and, as a purely hypothetical example, using immigrant slaves as your cooks and waiters and making them sleep on the restaurant tables at night.
