This morning in Florida, a large alligator tried to eat a naked gentleman who was smoking crack.
The alligator had the man in his jaws when deputies arrived at Lake Parker in Lakeland about 4 a.m. today. They were called by nearby residents who reported hearing a man yelling for help.
[Adrian J.] Apgar, 45, of Polk City, suffered a broken arm, partially amputated left arm and trauma to his left leg.
Link (Thanks, Ryan!)