Something is fouling the water around Malibu, and Los Angeles County pollution investigators suspect the culprit may be septic tanks of the stars. Officials are conducting DNA tests on sewage to determine whodungit. Snip:
Loyalty to septic systems runs deep in a city that was incorporated to stop construction of a sewer line. Residents who fiercely deny that their tanks are the source of ocean bacteria also fiercely guard their privacy and their right to flush the estimated 2,400 septic tanks in a city strung along 25 miles of coast.After decades of wrangling, Los Angeles County officials are promising to get tough — threats of hefty fines by clean water regulators were an important push. During the next few months, investigators will begin testing sea water. If DNA tests show the waste is human and not from, say, raccoons or coyote, they will follow the trail up the creeks that traverse neighborhoods in Malibu, where clean water advocates such as Pierce Brosnan and Ted Danson live.
Quoth Pamela Anderson:
"When the results of these tests come back, I'll bet that once again we'll find that … people's meat addiction, not their septic tanks, is causing this pollution," Anderson wrote in an e-mail through her publicist. "The best thing any of us can do to fight pollution is to adopt a vegetarian diet."
Of course! Because everyone knows that vegetarians do not defecate. Link to AP story. Defamer says funny things about it here. (Thanks, apoth)
