Part-time NYC jackoff artist and full-time chauvinist jackass Dan Hoyt gets no fine or jail time — just two years probation — despite boasting that his phonecam-snapping victim would “probably want to go out with me.” Barf. Instead of taking pictures of sexual harassers on trains, perhaps crime victims should consider using their cellphones as projectile nonlethal defense mechanisms. Nothing says “no thanks” like a Treo upside the head.