[Ed. Note: This essay is part of a series of first-person accounts by Ms. Tesanovic from the "Scorpions" war crimes trial in Belgrade. Members of the "anti-terrorist" police unit are accused of atrocities against civilians during the war in former Yugoslavia.)
Jasmina Tesanovic
Belgrade, April 13, 2006
Hague Links
Today' s session was closed for the audience, however we Women in Black managed to get a permit to attend since that is our trade, the judge said. She judged me from head to foot as I entered her office, seated me and signed the permit, but then once inside she asked us not to write about the testimony of the protected witness A because he asked so.
And I won't, also because all he said I already knew and wrote in the sessions before: I guessed out in previous reports what this link witness from Hague said. It wasn't that hard but his testimony has the impact of evidence, that's why it is important and closed for the public.
His body language is that of a troubled man who is hiding something but saying as much as he can He sounds intelligent and sly. He says a historical phrase, there always is one; a normal person would not execute such order, not that I was normal then, but a normal person would say NO, there have been examples in history of people who did it and got away with it.
Asked as to what is normality for him he explained thoughtfully: a normal person would not go to fight a war, he would stay back home. Once you are there you stop being normal.
[Image: Goranka Matic, Srebenica, 2002.]
We women in black almost applauded him. " I hated the Muslims and they hated us Serbs not that I love them now , why would I? But to kill them, why would I? But maybe by doing nothing against it, I gave my silent consent not that I could have stopped it… being on the front-line that was somehow OK, but this was something else.
He remembers how they burnt a snake and ate it: in front of every of those camp houses we would burn something, he added with nostalgic smile.
Speaking to the young scorpion engineer of death without one leg he is melting with love and reminiscence and respect: he allows him to insult him, deconstruct him and call him a liar, a Hague tribunal traitor, a coward…strange is this male soldiers solidarity; it is beyond homosexuality, it is really perverse exclusive. It is a death drive spoken in the language of killing. It speaks the universal language of violence , torture and abuse. It is void and strong, like a religion, sect, blind faith…it has the urge of love but the target is death: the way is short and straight to the shovel, it reminds me of my family from the mountains, their cruelty and vitality, of slaves and sultans.
It makes me shiver and feel sick: I get hungry and emptied of humanity. Every time the session is over we need food and a beer, an assertive attitude of life, a circle of women, a voice of reason…
During this long and painful session the Commander turned towards us: he smiled at the policeman sitting next to me who smiled back, then he stared at me winking flirtatiously. He did it several times afterwards: out of boredom, out of freedom, out of lack of respect. My girlfriend said, shall we leave, no I said, I will stare back at him and make him leave.
He didn't stand up to speak to the judge as we all have to do, she yelled at him and he stood up swiftly and lazily…what a small man he is I realized, the Commander who was made a hero by his men and now is behaving as a bad boy with us women who stare back at him, make him stand up, lock him in a slammer hopefully for good.
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Jasmina Tesanovic is an author, filmmaker, and wandering thinker who shares her thoughts with BoingBoing from time to time. Email: politicalidiot at yahoo dot com.
Previous essays by Jasmina Tesanovic on BoingBoing:
– The Muslim Women
– Belgrade: New Normality
– Serbia: An Underworld Journey
– Scorpions Trial, Day Three: March 15, 2006
– Scorpions Trial, Day Two: March 14, 2006
– Scorpions Trial, Day One: March 13, 2006
– The Long Goodbye
– Milosevic Arrives in Belgrade
– Slobodan Milosevic Died
– Milosevic Funeral
– Link to previous posts about Jasmina's work.
