A Softer World is a blog that features a weekly fictional letter to a big corporation in response to a job posting. This week’s letter: a cop offers his services to the RIAA.
So I laid it on thick. “Son, we’re human beings, the same as you are. You can’t paint a whole group of people with one big brush. I became a cop because I wanted to help. I wanted to make my father proud. He died in the line, trying to save a woman from a gang of attackers, and I…” this is when I start to cry.
He had no idea what to do. He put his hand on my shoulder, and I cried harder. Eventually I managed to pull him into a hug. While he was nervously patting me on the back, I stuck my finger in my mouth and got it real wet with spit. Then I stuck it in his ear and gave him the nastiest wet-willy anyone has ever given anyone.
He was like “WHAT” and I was laughing, man, because who would ever believe him?
“A police officer gave me a wet willy!” wouldn’t last a minute in court. And people would think twice about pirating music if it called down the wrath of the RIAA in the form of crooked police officers grabbing them outside their schools or daycares and giving them painful and embarassing wet willies. Think about that.
(Thanks, Fred!)