A New Yorker on a subway car grew tired of the homophobic Bible-thumping preachers, and retaliated by singing show tunes until they shut up:
Me: “If you all don’t lower your voices and cease calling me Satan, I will have to sing show tunes.”
The other straphangers look at me with stony faces.
I begin to sing.
“Its very clear, our love is here to stay. Not for a year, but forever and a day…”Preacher lady and the Jesus police start mumbling and beseeching G_d to strike me down and boil me in molten tar. (I look better in silver.)
The train reaches Wall Street. Confused subway riders check out the scene. I begin swaying and feeling the music.The slamming Bible man looks like he is going to pop a blood vessel. “I cast ye out, Satan.”
I go into jazz dance crouch and then spring up to belt out, “THAAAAAAT OLD BLACK MAGIC, HAS ME IN A SPELL…”
Bible man has to get off the train as I wriggle and shimmy. “That same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine!”
Bible man exits. SHOW TUNES 1, FUNDAMENTALISTS 0.
(via Oblomovka)