This short-short story about a Quaker football game has the second-greatest religious football cheer in literature (the best is Philip Roth’s “Ikey Mikey Shem and Ham, We’re the boys who eat no ham, Go Yid!”):
Fight, fight, inner light, Kill, quakers, kill!
Knock ’em down, beat ’em senseless,
Do it till we reach consensus!
(Thanks, Danny!)