Francis sez, ” My Shakespeare reading group got around to Pericles on Sunday afternoon, and the plot was so far-fetched, even by Shakespearean standards, that I felt it needed documenting. So I wrote a condensed, snarkified version of the entire play.”
HELICANUS: What’s the matter, my lord?
PERICLES: Oh…the king of Antioch is sleeping with his daughter and now he wants to kill me because he’s afraid I’ll tell everyone about it or something. (He leans out the window.) OH, IF ONLY I HAD NEVER LEARNED HE WAS SLEEPING WITH HIS DAUGHTER.
HELICANUS: I can see how that would be a problem. Maybe you should leave town until he cools off, or dies, or whatever, since it’s pretty easy to find you here.
PERICLES: Since I’m prince and all.
HELICANUS: Exactly.
(Thanks, Francis!)