In the current issue of March Magazine, Neal Pollack opines on The Current State of My Affairs, or: "Passion Restored: America's Greatest Living Writer Consoles Womankind Amidst the War On Terror":
When I began having affairs the state of affairs was far different than it is today. I had my first affair in 1997 at the dawn of the height of dot-com mania. Sex was a nebulous commodity to be had between deals, mostly in red-eye restrooms somewhere above Kansas City. I recall one affair conducted largely in Soho during which my paramour, while servicing me brilliantly, never stopped carrying on a conversation with her HTML programmer. Later that day, another woman agreed to sleep with me only after I secured her venture capital, while her personal video game designer liked three-ways with the Kozmo.com delivery person who brought us the condoms. Those were raw, sleepless days and nights, and eventually I turned to lonely housewives, the last refuge of the desperate and horny.
But as the market crashed and continues to crash, and the War On Terror manifests daily as both terror and war, affairs get easier and easier. In the week following September 11, alone, I started ten affairs all of which continue today, growing more and more intense with each successive announcement of a blanket terrorist threat. This war is just the crisis I've been waiting for!
