A Futurama fan has made suprisingly good homemade transcripts of the first two episodes from Season Five.
Outside on the Planet Express balcony
=====================================Zoidberg: Hurry up with the water! I’m steaming inside my own shell, I
am. It’s that hot, it is!Leela: Hyya! [tears open a bag of Instant Pool Water]
Fry [entering with Bender]: Man, it’s hot. How hot is it? It’s so hot,
I’d pour McDonald’s coffee in lap to cool off! [giggles] Johnny Carson
said it.[Nibbler starts drinking the pool water]
Leela: No! Nibbler! Don’t drink the pool water! It’s full of chlorine!
[Nibbler gets sick and burps a chlorine cloud, making everyone but
Bender faint]Bender: Hahahaha! Lightweights! Oh wait, chlorine! [rusts and falls]
(via Robot Wisdom)