In this week’s fun-filled, timewasterly installment of Web Zen, we actually learn a thing or two.
1. How to be Electroclash. Don’t know what Electroclash is yet? Retro subculture trend du jour that’s all about vocoders, Giorgio Moroder, methadone, safety pins, glitz, space invaders, Pac-Man, leatherette, 80’s porno, robots, robots robots. And the ’80s film classic: Liquid Sky, image at left.
2. How to Dance Goth. Put your (black-fingernailed) hands up in the air, and wave ’em like ya just don’t care.
3. The glamorous and highly competitive world of cat dancing.”The question to ask is not ‘Will my cat dance with me?’ but rather ‘Will I dance with my cat?’ “
4. How To Be a Cribster: Preparing yourself to be on the MTV show Cribs. Excerpt:
“You don’t eat, sleep or have sex, you ‘Get your eat/sleep/f*ck on.’… Things are not shiny. They are blinged out. … They are not friends. They are ‘dawgz.’… You may own any or all existing video game systems other than a Nintendo, which is for beeyotches and kids. However, you may only own NFL or NBA themed video games. (No one has ever said ‘This is where I get my flight simulation on.’)”