B is for Britney

Cory Doctorow 6:42 am Sun Feb 17, 2002

A Britney Spears alphabet. It's no Edward Gorey, but I got some chuckles out of it.

L is for Lolita and Lubrication, which go together. Britney defines herself as a nymphet in Crossroads: 'I'm not a girl but I'm not yet a woman,' she caterwauls. Though she has sternly said: 'I don't want to be part of someone's Lolita thing', one of her handlers must have studied Nabokov's novel. Humbert, absconding with his underage stepdaughter, sees double entendres everywhere, even at petrol stations: 'A garage said in its sleep – genuflexion lubricity; and corrected itself to Gulflex Lubrication.' In Crossroads, Britney's dad owns such an establishment, and as she skips town with the stubbled hunk who later deflowers her, she casts a backward glance at the sign which offers – I swear it – lube jobs. The snake, as Nabokov knew, was wriggling through the garden long before the fall.

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