GI Joe spills. Hathno Paige’s “Sergeant Stone: Hard to Forget” is a fictionalized account of one reporter’s encounter with his favorite action-figure.
“One time we’re all out on the jungle-house’s front porch sucking down Big Jack’s pina coladas when Motorcycle Mike pulls up. Now Mike’s hot off his latest world-record jump over — I don’t know — fifty fish bowls of piranhas or something, and Maxton — whose own popularity is fizzling — leans over the railing and shouts, ‘Hey Mr. Hot-shit trick rider. Bet you can’t ride that thing up into my house.’ Well, Mike he’s got this short-man thing going, and there’s no way he’s gonna turn down a dare like that. So he gets back on the bike and cranks up the motor.”
Stone pauses for a sip of coffee. I’m on the edge of my seat. The action-parties are the stuff of legends, but all anyone has ever heard before are unconfirmed rumors.
“So Mike takes off and makes it right up the steps, no problem. And as we all turn to look for him inside, we hear this huge crash followed by Mike swearing a blue streak! So we rush in, and there’s this big square hole in the floor. And Maxton, Maxton’s down on the floor laughing. I’m trying to figure out what’s going when Big Jack hits me in the arm and says, ‘That little bastard. He activated the secret fall-away floor!'”